sparks

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lit the flame within us."
-Albert Schweitzer 

Today I'm overflowing with gratitude for all the inspiring people I have in my life who love without expecting anything back, who live in a way that shows that trust in yourself is the most important thing to achieving your dreams. Who believe in you and push you when you are afraid to take that next step. Those who wear a smile. those who don't but remind you that sometimes it's ok to be sad, mad, frustrated, etc... but not to be too hard on yourself. Life is good with people like this who balance me in different and important ways.

current status: in LOVE with life and the people in it

Clouds.

Get the tissues ready around minute 13....

Then enjoy the celebrity video of Clouds:

 

rebirth through travel

"When you travel, you experience, in a very practical way, the act of rebirth. 

You confront completely new situations, the day passes more slowly, 

and on most journeys you don't even understand the language the people speak. 

So you are like a child just out of the womb. 

You begin to attach much more importance to the things around you because your survival depends upon them. 

You begin to be more accessible to others because they may be able to help you in difficult situations. 

And you accept any small favor from the gods with great delight, as if it were an episode you would remember for the rest of your life. 

At the same time, since all things are new, 

you see only the beauty in them, and you feel happy to be alive. 

That's why a religious pilgrimage has always been one of the most objective ways of achieving insight...."

excerpt from The Pilgrimage, by Paulo Coelho

Birthday Variations

I love facebook because it reminds me when a friend has a birthday and of course it reminds all my friends when my birthday is as well... but the downside to this is that you get SO MANY birthday wishes and sometimes the well wishes get burried until we find time after our big day to review them all... believe me, I'm not complaining because I just ran across this gem that was posted to my wall on my big day and i LOVE. LOVE. LOVED it so much. 

The video shows Zubin Mehta, an indian Parsi conductor of western classical music doing a series of classical variations on the "Happy Birthday" song. 
Rendering it how Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Vienna, Now Orleans etc.... would have done it. 
I play the violin, so maybe I'm bias. But I think its pretty sweet. Enjoy!

30 at last!

So once I moved to Washington DC after university I quickly learned with age came more money and more respect. I also gravitated towards 30 somethings and found they were the type of friends I felt the most connected and inspired by. (now I DO have some pretty awesome friends who are my age too) but this was the first time in my life I had so many that were 10+years older than me. They were smart, successful, confident, well adjusted women. So I naturally could not wait to arrive to this time in my life. And as of last week, I'm finally part of the club and it feels oh.so.good.

A few months ago I came across a wonderful writer named Salena Soo, she is my age and turned 30 a few months before me and wrote the article below. Salena is a writer (among other things). I am not. And since she said everything I wanted to say and BETTER I'm attaching her eloquent article below.  It's one of those article where I nod my head on agreement, giggle at some points and shouted "preach it sister" and "amen!" a time or two. Now she started a business... and I'm starting an NGO but apart from that... Soul sistas.

So Preach Selen!

I’m Excited About Turning 30, and Here’s Why

SELENA SOO | DECEMBER 23, 2012 | INSPIRING, LIVING, WORKING

At the beginning of the year, I decided that I was ready to start my own business. I was talking to my friend Natalia about my startup and upcoming birthday when she asked me, “So how do you feel about turning thirty?” I responded, “I’ve never felt happier. I’m so incredibly excited about entering this new decade of my life.”

Why Older Is Better

She was shocked, and I understood why. How often do we hear women say that they are actually looking forward to getting older? In our culture, attitudes toward aging certainly seem gendered. When a man turns thirty, it is never viewed as a problem. As women, however, we are told that our intrinsic value lies in our beauty and our youth.

Unlike most women, I’ve never been self-conscious about my age. At a recent networking event, someone asked me if I was an intern, which I took as a compliment. On the flip side, when someone tells me I look older than I am (which almost never happens), I take it as a compliment as well. My mind reframes what others might perceive as an insult. I tell myself I must come across as intelligent and, perhaps, more mature for my age.

Natalia’s surprise about my excitement around turning thirty made me realize something: I think about age differently than most do. To me, the more experiences we accumulate, the greater clarity we can have about the life we really want to live. If each day, we take just one bold step toward what we truly want, eventually it is possible to create the life of our dreams.

On Being an Entrepreneur

Being an entrepreneur has always been a dream of mine. However, it was something I continually delayed. “Maybe five years from now,” I would tell myself.  Maybe ten. In my mind, I needed to be perfect in order to be ready. I needed to have all the answers. But, finally, I realized this truth: Being an entrepreneur is more about a mindset than a skillset. It’s about believing so passionately in your work that there is no other option but to do it. Furthermore, not knowing all the answers can actually be an asset.

As my friend Danielle LaPorte says, “A beginner’s mind is an open mind, and an open mind innovates.”

Many people, including friends and mentors, have tried to dissuade me from starting my own business. It’s much safer, they caution, if I work at an established marketing firm first, move up the corporate ladder, and then venture out on my own. What if this or that goes wrong? While their points are certainly valid, deep down in my bones I knew that I was ready. I also knew that there was no way I could ever succeed by focusing all of my attention on the worst-case scenario.

Being an entrepreneur has been both a joy and a challenge. I’ve had moments of extreme confidence as well as moments of sheer terror. I’ve experienced extraordinary wins as well as painful disappointments. Despite it all, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m learning more than I could in any MBA classroom. I’ve never felt more alive.

The Secret About Success

At the age of thirty, what makes me most proud is not any particular accomplishment, but rather a marked shift in my perception. Today, I define success differently from how I did in my twenties.

For me, success is not about the end goal or even about the journey. To me, success is a state of mind. It’s about the optimism and faith you have in yourself. It’s about the resilience you bring to life’s challenges. And most of all, success is about quietly tuning into who you are and what you really want and then taking consistent steps toward those goals.

The old me used to define success by my external accomplishments. Every day would start at zero; I needed to constantly achieve things in order to feel good about myself. I was constantly seeking approval. As I pushed myself to the point of exhaustion on a daily basis, my physical and emotional health suffered.

Today, the new me is different. The new me understands that being still and content can be more powerful than the constant act of striving. The new me understands that, at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is my own. The new me understands what I’ve discovered to be my most powerful truth: that self-care is the foundation of my success.

At its core, self-care is about honoring your needs. For me, my primary need has always been to do work that I love. I want to use my life to make a difference, and I want my work to mean something. I’d rather struggle doing something I love than succeed at doing something that makes me feel empty.

When I think about turning thirty, I feel like I’ve finally become the person I’ve always wanted to be. Despite the uncertainty and challenges of being an entrepreneur, I feel deeply happy, at peace, and, most of all, alive. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself because I can hardly believe what I’ve created. Most of all, I feel grateful that I get to wake up each day and do the thing that I love the most: promoting visionary people and helping them change the world, one person at a time.

Selena Soo (founder of S2 Groupe) is a business strategist for personal brands, focusing on marketing and publicity. Her greatest passion is helping visionary entrepreneurs, experts, and authors reach more people and change the world. Selena received her MBA from NYU Stern and her BA from Columbia University. She loves living in NYC, where she throws champagne networking brunches and teaches her signature course Elevate Your Brand. For more on Selena, please visit her website or connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

Your dear natural possession

…Describe your sorrows and desires, 
the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty – 
describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, 
when you express yourself, 
use the Things around you, 
the images from your dreams, 
and the objects that you remember.
 If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; 
admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; 
because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place. 
And even if you found yourself in some prison, 
whose walls let in none of the world’s sounds – 
wouldn’t you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, 
that treasure house of memories? 
Turn your attentions to it. 
Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; 
your personality will grow stronger, 
your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, 
where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. 
— And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, 
poems come, 
then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. 
Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: 
for you will see them as your dear natural possession, 
a piece of your life, 
a voice from it.
 A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. 
That is the only way one can judge it. 

Rainer Maria Rilke

Check your Mexican status

Found this burried in my email... made me laugh so I'm sharing it.


If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas....Mexican status!!

If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting, " Sana , Sana , Colita de rana....." You're Mexican, big time!!!

If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina! , your wifa, your old lady, or your vieja, guess what? Not only are you a Mexican, you're a cholo.

If you throw a "Grito" every time you hear Vicente Fernandez , then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican.

If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti si lloras" or "Vas a ver orita que salgamos." Yes, you're definitely a Mexican.

If you grew up being called "chamaca or chamaco" ..Mexican.

If you grew up scared of La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El CuCuy! Yes! Mexican!

If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera" instead of calling it by its name. Yup! Mexican!

If you constantly refer to cereal as "! con fleys" or cake as "kay-ke". You're a Mexican.

If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at "el parque". You are a Mexican. If your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the "pulga." (AKA the Flea Market) Then, yes, you are a Mexican.

If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed "Bicks", you're Mexican.

 IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN. VIVA LA RAZA!!!

almost out of my 20's

not a gambler.

money

It’s good to have money 

and the things that money can buy, 

but it’s good, too, 

to check up once in a while 

and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.

-George Lorimer

Presence, not presents.

Like this? Learn to build a better life at Good Life Project.

crisis averted?

"The word “crisis” in Chinese is formed with the characters for“danger” and “opportunity.” A crisis presents traumatic disruption or threat, but it also presents a unique opportunity for growth.

While you are in crisis, you are forced to function outside of your normal comfort zone. The sheer nature of a crisis or struggle creates a certain amount of present moment awareness, which is where the solutions live. Our natural inclination is to look and get away from a crisis situation as soon as we possibly can. This desire to avoid pain and upset is a natural human response, but moving through or away from a crisis without taking the time to understand how it has impacted you can be a mistake. The feelings that get kicked up do not disappear because we stop looking at what happened. They go underground and continue to impact your life in ways that can be very confusing. Denying feelings and pushing them down will eventually distort them in such a way that it is difficult to understand why you might be responding to current events in your life in a particular way."

Terri Cole's Full Article HERE.

Frida is my homegirl.

Powerful thoughts

growth

If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone. - john maxwell

Pack light and enjoy the ride!

I'm about to embark on my last leg of my journey home. 
I left on the 19th from Antigua to Iowa via Houston. 
A huge blizzard was not in my mind when I snapped this photo from the first plane. 
But during my unexpected detour I've been able to spend a couple quality days with an old friend in Kansas City, and we survived the end of the 13th Bak'tun with pizza and wine in hand.
Now onto the great white north. 
I'm open to detours as long as they equal quality time with loved ones. 

also another word to the wise:
When traveling to the midwest during christmas, its best to travel with a carry-on. It was pivotal to the positive experience of the change in plans.   

once we know...

“Once we know and are aware, we are responsible for our action and our inaction. We can do something about it or ignore it. Either way, we are still responsible.” Jean Paul Sartre


This is a quote that I repeat to myself now more than ever. I don't know why but it seems that it rings true in so many situations. I can't just live my life as if I didn't know what I know. I'm aware. And more so after my peace corps service and this article I found on the peace corps facebook page articulates exactly how I and I assume many others who have had any type of experience with poverty whether domestic or international.

Peace Corps Guilt 
By Esther Katcoff Peace Corps Volunteer in Paraguay
Posted: 11/01/2012 3:06 pm on the Huffington Post website 

Someone is drowning in a lake and you are watching. She is sinking lower and lower, her head tossed back so that she can just barely manage a gulp of air. You can save her. Most people would argue that ethically you mustsave her. In his 1971 essay "Famine, Affluence, and Morality," ethicist Peter Singer compares the general moral obligation to help the drowning to every privileged individual's moral obligation to alleviate global poverty.

People all over the world are dying. They are suffering and we are watching. It is immoral, says Peter Singer, not to do everything in our power to help them. iPods, spankin' new cars, vacations to Disney World... we spend money on these things instead of paying for life-saving surgeries, feeding hungry children or investing in third world economies. According to Singer, the fact that we don´t need to watch the poor suffer doesn´t change the fact that they are drowning and we know it. And we let them.

I can't claim that reading Singer's essay was the reason I joined the Peace Corps, but it definitely instilled in me a sense of... duty? No, something more uncomfortable than that. The scratchy sand pressing all over you under your bathing suit on the way home from the beach.

Guilt.

I'd been to Disney World. I'd gone on very expensive trips all over the world. And -- the horror! -- I had an iPod.
But what to do about all that?
Well, I started by not buying a new iPod after my old-school Nano broke. But would that help the hungry children of Africa? I couldn't just donate the money saved. I was an Urban Studies major. I knew about the complications of development work, the band-aid solutions, the causes that just sound good, the charity that unmotivates the beneficiaries, the money that doesn't always reach the ground. The only way, I told myself, the only way is to understand completely what the people need to fish themselves out of their lake. Then I could support them with my iPod money.

I tell people I joined the Peace Corps to understand what it means to be poor, but that´s just part of the story. I joined the Peace Corps to figure out how to escape the guilt of having so much while other people have so little.

Well, now I'm in the Peace Corps in Paraguay and surprised to find that it was not the way to go for moral masturbation.

Here in my rural-ish urban community in Paraguay, I am living in a vat of perpetual boiling hot guilt. And I've found that I am not the only one. All of the following causes us volunteers to feel that little pang in the chest that means we are doing something pretty horrible:

1) Taking time for ourselves

We feel guilty for staying in the house all day, or for being out of site and missing our neighbors' birthdaysopa. We feel guilty for watching a movie alone instead of with some Paraguayan neighbors. We're servants of the community, right? It's supposed to be a full-time job. Every hour spent watching a movie is an hour we could have helped a child with his homework. Every trip to visit a friend is a leadership retreat for teenagers that never had the chance to happen.

2) Not sharing personal possessions 

Just this week I was called a bruja for not lending my computer to someone. And maybe I am a bruja. Families share with me whatever little food they have and I share nothing. I feel like the meanest witch alive.

3) Being too chuchi (fancy) 

How can we live in a house with a modern bathroom if no one else has one? How can we buy the chuchichocolate from America when our neighbors can't afford a bag of rice? How can we be paying someone to wash our clothes, how can we go on vacation, how can we have hot water, how can we have running water, arrrrghhhhhhh!

4) Being unsustainable 

Apparently the whole point of this helping others thing is sustainability. Don't give stuff to the community, get them to work for it themselves! So, that sounds awesome... until you have the opportunity to get 40 free pairs of reading glasses from America. You can nix the freebees or you can help 40 impoverished ancianosto read again. But then you have to accept the hot-headed guilt that comes with it, the possibility that you jeopardize your community's motivation because they realize the truth that their lives would be so much easier if the first world shared some of its money.

5) Failing to save the world 

A couple weeks ago, a 9-year-old girl showed up at my house for the first time. I was surprised by the visit and amazed -- María had come a long way since she first joined our girls group six weeks before. She was the girl who smiled but rarely spoke, and even then rarely in Spanish -- only in the indigenous language Guarani. And now she popped by just to hang out. But something struck me as odd, as I glanced at my pizza in the oven and then at my watch. The time was 11:50. Almost lunch time... the holy hour of the only meal that really gets eaten in Paraguay.

¨María, what time do you have to be home?¨ I asked her.

¨No, my mother isn't cooking today,¨ she replied.

¨What?¨ I was shocked. Even the poorest families I know eat something for lunch, even if not very much.

¨Aren't you hungry?¨

She told me no, she'd had tortillas at 5AM. It wasn't a question of feeling generous and tossing a dollar at a beggar child on the street.
This was María. My María.
Her immune system, her literacy rate, her confidence level and her general growth rate all depended on me in that moment.
I shared my pizza with her. She ate every bite. Even the green pepper and onions sprinkled on top... and you would be hard-pressed to find a child where I live who would eat a vegetable you can see.

Then she asked me what I was making for dinner. I immediately felt thrown into a moral crisis. All my guilt -- for leaving site, for being too chuchi, for not sharing and for being unsustainable -- charged forth dressed for battle.
I can't feed her every single meal. I can't be responsible for this little girl.
Stop being selfish. Yes, you can.
You make more than enough on your Peace Corps stipend to feed another person.

But what about her eight siblings? What about her neighbors? What about everyone else who is falling through the cracks? How can I do this just for her?

You took a vacation to Peru. You did that instead of feeding a little girl. It's not even sustainable to buy her food, I should try to develop the soup kitchen at our local community center instead. You know that is unrealistic. The soup kitchen is open for three lunches a week and is already a strain for the women who cook. You are going to stand back and watch this little girl fall. All this seems to me a pretty depressing lose-lose situation. Either I ignore the hunger of a child, or I create jealousy amongst her peers. And either way she will be hungry again next year after I go back to America.

How do I cope with all of this burden? How do any of us cope? I feel like the go-to answer is to try drop it behind somewhere on our two year journey. Just throw that heavy sack in the arroyo. Remind yourself of the hours of work you put into that project, the tears you shed as you squatted homesick in your host family's overflowing latrine. The opportunity cost of doing the Peace Corps, all those tens of thousands of dollars you like to think you could have made if you were employed these two years in the U.S.

But unfortunately, that reasoning doesn´t do it for me. Nor does the argument that extreme wealth needs to exist because people need a goal to strive for. I mean, what would María say if I told her I'm going to the Lady Gaga concert in Asuncion so that she can strive to have enough money to do that too some day? She doesn't get enough to eat, can't read and lives in a wooden shack with no water. It´s not about how hard she tries.

And I don't really believe the people who say that helping others is not morally obligatory, just a praiseworthy act. Because in that case, allowing that person to drown in the lake would be the norm. And I don't think that is the world we live in.

The only comfort I can give myself -- for now, while I continue to search for the answers -- is the last place I would ever expect to find consolation. Peace Corps goal 3. Something that a year ago didn´t really seem part of my PC experience, just something that naturally happens when you go home and don´t have anything exciting to talk about anymore.

Peace Corps goal 3: To bring our life drinking terere back to the United States of America. I went back to the States in July and was not very astonished to hear a lot of people say narrow-minded things about global poverty. I'm not sure what bothered me most: the couple who thought they understood my community in Paraguay because they took a vacation to China once or the students who didn't care because we have to help our fellow Jews first. The old man who asked me why Paraguay's own government couldn't provide for them? Or the girl who asked me if I cook or order takeout in my site?

It wasn't until a random Facebook chat that I found a sort of hope in these tiring, often repetitive conversations. I went to elementary school with Adam, wasn´t friends with him, and hadn't talked to him in at least five years. Now he chatted me to say that what I am doing is "an inspiration" to him. It wasn't his compliments that encouraged me nor was it his reminder of opportunity cost of doing the Peace Corps.

It was just the simple fact that someone I barely know said that my actions give him inspiration to give up money to do something he loves. That he wanted to have coffee to hear about what I've learned in my experience. I couldn't read the word "inspiration" with a straight face, but his openness to hear from my experience made me see the value in Goal 3. I have -- we have -- a real opportunity to help others back home understand the amazing culture of Paraguay, the complicated nature of development work, and the lives of those who fight for their communities.

For me, this is the solution to the heap-ton of Peace Corps guilt clamping down on my shoulders. Goal 3: to help people back home understand human need and realize their responsibility to throw that lifesaver. In a sustainable way, of course. Because the guilt that we are allowing people to drown is not mine. It is ours.

LandfillHarmonic

Great Inspiration on a Friday
 I think I'll unpack my ol' fiddle :)


 

Reach for the Sky. Keep your eye on the prize.

really loving Matisyahu's new album. I have listened to him since I was in college and always enjoyed his lyrics and saw him this summer in Iowa (photo above) and I noticed he looked different, he used to dress like an orthodox jew, the suit, curls, beard, the works, and now this... clean cut.

Later I found this letter (below) to his fans on his facebook page. And it resinated with me. I love his dedication to his personal authenticity.

To My Fans-

I will try to write a couple of ideas and thoughts, but I prefer to speak in my native language, the language of the soul, Music. So I will preface this piece by asking that before prescribing judgement to some pictures, please wait and listen to my new record Spark Seeker from start to finish. The record is infused with both Jewish and universal inspiration, as it is a reflection of my inner landscape over the past 2 years of its making. From visions of the Bal Shem Tov to Kabbalah references, prayers in Hebrew and stories in Yiddish, this record was both a spiritual and reflective journey full of transition and growth. That being said, I believe there is a higher level…a level where there is no divisiveness. Where there is complete unity, and that is what I am mirroring. There was a time when I felt it was necessary to show the world what I believed in through my physical appearance. I think this can be a wonderful thing, but as my faith has evolved I have come to believe there are many other ways to show my spirituality and Judaism. Ways in which our humanity is emphasized over our differences. This was my aim for the music. This was always my aim. During the making of this record I began to feel that I was shedding something, and with that I chose to shave. Just as when I was 18 and I shaved my dreadlocks to let go of my identity, I felt as if I was returning to a time prior to religion or rules or right and wrong. To a place where truth shows itself in beauty and balance and I felt it was time to walk a new path.What that exactly means or looks like I am still figuring out, and will be for the rest of my life, I hope. To those who feel betrayed by my choices or my look, don’t worry, I think they will continue to change and evolve–that is the awesomeness of life. I think that through patience, in time you will see we are still on the same team. We are ALL on the same team. I am so excited for you to hear my new record I hope it will explain and inspire so much more then my words here can.

Sincerely In Love and Truth,

Matis

Here is one of his new songs
I'm definitely adding it to my morning playlist.

enjoy!